The country girl in me cannot help but think of “Country Strong” and forget that not only is this adage the title of a GREAT song, but it also rings so very true. I was so down and out this week, completely overtaken with disappointment, that I forgot just how much this saying has played into my life. I lost faith in timing.
Timing has been such a huge factor in many aspects of my life, from relationships all the way to hairstyle. Trying to ignore the necessity of right timing has always led me to heartache and bouts with mild depression. I have forced relationships and jobs that were not right, that I was not READY for, only to find myself crying into a pillow wondering why I was not happy. Without the right timing things in my life quickly went awry, triggering disordered eating among many other imbalances. Just like a cake that is taken out of the oven too early, my life without timing would just fall apart.
I am lucky. I have gotten the timing on a few things right, but it was not without my fair share of trials and errors. I have an amazing and supportive boyfriend, a job I do not dread showing up for and I am well on my way to building my career. Without all the pushing and pulling, I definitely have found a general feeling of balance in my life, of RIGHTness. So why now, after so much evidence to support the contrary, was I trying to fight timing? Old habits, I guess.
I have chosen to accept that this was not the right time for that thing I wanted so very badly. Perhaps it is hard to see now, but something was off. Or maybe something bigger and better is just around the corner, and would not have been accessible had I been tied up with this other commitment. One door closes, and all that. :)
Whatever it is, I trust that things will work themselves out. And to be honest, my life is pretty awesome as it is anyway.